Previously I talked about wanting to do “more”. There’s an energy inside that I need to focus somewhere… but I haven’t found that focus yet.
What I’m doing in the meantime is volunteering in the kitchen at the Open Door Mission once a week, serving breakfast. It’s a neat place, with interesting people and I really enjoying spending a little bit of time there each week. I work side-by-side with alcoholics, addicts, and homeless people… and most of them aren't much different than me.
Volunteering there is a start, but it’s certainly not the end of what I want to do. In fact, the more I think about it, the more it seems like volunteering in that fashion is more to ease the volunteers’ mind… to make them feel like they’re doing something worthwhile, or making a difference. The truth is, the people there would get their breakfast with or without me, and they do the other 6 days a week. So what difference am I really making? I suppose if nobody volunteered there, it would have a negative impact on what they are capable of doing. And surely if nobody donated any money they wouldn’t be able to offer much. But I still question if my 2 ½ hours a week is making a difference.
One more thought that came from the kitchen - this one about God. We started talking about all of the different shootings going on locally, especially with younger and younger kids involved, then of course we went on to the larger scale of shootings in general and the wars taking place. Being a religious place, someone made the comment that was something along the lines of, “It will never change… all of these things happening all over the world. God has a plan - and these things are in his plan. That’s why I’m here because of his plan. And he has a plan for you too.”
I have to think this man is wrong. In general, I don’t believe in God or in anything else… but the more I hear about God, or what people believe about God, the more I seem to dislike God. That comment is one of hopelessness and lack of accountability.
I want to tell that man to take charge of his life, be responsible for himself, and make his own plan. Maybe I should. But then again, who am I? I’ve never been in his shoes.